Happy New Year August 29, 2011

Happy first day of school! It’s hard to believe that summer has come and gone already. As an educator who works year-round, one would think the summer would indicate a break, but that just wasn’t the case. Between working on special projects, reports, orientation, travel, and appointments, the summer seemed just as busy as the fall and spring semesters. A different kind of busy, but extremely busy nonetheless.

I have to say that I am a little nervous about the start of the semester. The fall is always terribly packed, and coming off of this summer, I simply can’t imagine what it will be like. I guess if I just worked, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but when I consider work, teaching, taking two classes, and a two-year-old, it seems a bit much and a little overwhelming.

I’ve spent that last several days thinking about the new class of students that will begin at the University of Memphis and the University of Memphis community, at large. For many, this is a brand new start, for some it’s just another start of another semester, and for me, it’s a new start to something that is somewhat familiar. It’s also my favorite time of year. I love the thought of students being back on campus, traffic jams on Central Avenue and Patterson (the main streets of the campus), being able to answer students’ questions, attending New Student Convocation. As a good friend says, all of that makes my heart beat fast! But even with all of those positive feelings, part of me is a little anxious of what is to come. I’ve been praying a lot about the coming weeks and months. For patience, for peace, that I can make a difference, but the anthem that was sung yesterday at church really sums it up for me:

Prayer of Being – Mark Hayes

Be in my life, be in my breath, be in my walk, be in my rest.
Be in this humble heart of mine; be ever present in my mind.
Be in my hands, be in my feet, be in my eyes and in my speech.
Be in the smile I give away; be in each healing word I say.
Be in my work, be in my play; be in the struggles of each day.
Be in my joy, be in my pain; be in my loss, be in my gain.
Be in my thoughts, be in my song; be in my spirit all day long.
Be in my prayers, At dawn’s first light;
Be in my dreams, all through the night. Amen.

As I listened to this, I thought, “What a prayer.” This is something that I should hope for every day. So, in an attempt to do so, I am printing this and posting it in a prominent place in my office to remind me that no matter how crazy life gets, that I want Got to be woven into all that I do.

Have a great week & happy new year!

Blog Worthy Week August 21, 2011

Whew! This week was a busy one. There was so much to write about, whether it was the first day of school, potty training, or the fact that my best friend had her first baby! It was a blog worthy week. So here’s how it shook out:

Sunday: I volunteered at the Sunday School table, made breakfast for Sunday School, and volunteered in the 2 year nursery. We continued the potty training and only had one small accident.

Monday: It was the first day of school. Jack Wilson is really growing up. He had a great day back but had to be cut out of his underwear due to a massive accident. Thomas was really sad…oops.

Tuesday: It was a pretty ordinary work day, but Tuesday night I went with my friend Kate to ArtJamN, one of those “Cork and Canvas” types of places for “Memphis Night”. In memory of Elvis, we painted him! It was a good time with great company.

Wednesday: Okay, this day was crazy. I woke up at about 2 a.m. to a call from my very pregnant BFF, Laranda, who thought she could be in labor. It was so exciting that I didn’t sleep much the rest of the night. That morning I got up like normal, went to work, had a party for my student group and got a call that they were admitting Laranda. I wrapped up the lunch, moved some very important appointments around and left the office by 1:30 to get on the road to Baton Rouge. Before I left, I checked the forecast, and it showed rain for my entire drive. I had been having trouble with my windshield wipers, so I decided to take my SUV to the dealership. Well, THREE HOURS LATER sweet Bob, the service manager, told me that it would be approximately $1200 to fix my car. Twelve hundred dollars for some wind shield wipers?

Well, it seems that my central control panel, the one that powers the center screen, wipers, and probably a few other important things, has gone out! Much to my dismay, I told him that I wouldn’t be able to take care of that until a few more weeks. He then proceeded to tell me that it would be $150 for the diagnostic ( $150 that he was JUST now mentioning to me…really?!?). By now I had had it. My car wasn’t fixed, it would take another 30 minutes to an hour to “put it back together” and I’d waited at the dealership for almost 4 hours. All the while I was thinking, “John Luke, please wait for Aunt Shea-Shea!” So, in my nicest, most southern, gentile way, I said, “That’s really disappointing, I didn’t think that was the way Volvo treated its customers…” The next think I knew, Bob had waived the fee and had ordered a rental car from Enterprise next door.

So, anyway, I got the rental and rushed home to pack my bag. (It was now almost 5 p.m.) Well, I was about 2 minutes from being home when I, I kid you not, had a FENDER BENDER…”Ahhhh…really??? Is this really happening?” I thought. The gracious people that I ran into weren’t concerned with their car, so we both went on our merry ways. In tears at this point, I got home, called Reggie, called the adjuster, visited with Kate for a second (she and I were on the phone when I rear ended the grey corolla and came by to make sure all was okay), packed my car, and finally got on the road.

Fast forward almost 4 hours, John Luke Walker was born at 8:22 p.m. weighing in at 5 pounds and 12 ounces. I arrived about 2 1/2 hours later and got to spend about 2 hours with Laranda, her husband Chris, the grandparents, and one of the most adorable little boys I’ve ever seen. Laranda looked as beautiful as ever. It was a wonderful blessing to be with her on one of the biggest days of her life. A day that she has been praying for and waiting for, for many years. When I recount how crazy of a day it was, it was all well worth seeing that baby boy and his wonderful parents. Life is good and I can’t wait to tell John Luke just how much I much it took for me to meet him on his birthday!

Thursday: I got up around 8 a.m., went to the hospital for a few hours, and was back on the road by 2. I arrived back in Memphis around 7:30. While I was gone, life did not stop, so I had to prepare for my morning training session and got a little rest, too.

Friday: I got up at 5:30 a.m. to prepare for a StrengthsQuest training with the Recruitment and Orientation Services team at the University of Memphis. They were a great group and hopefully took away some valuable information about themselves and each other. Around 2 p.m. I finally returned the rental car, and paid the whopping $500 deductible, and picked up my unfixed vehicle.

Today, a new week begins, and although I hope it’s a little quieter than the last, I’m sure I’ll bring its own surprises. Have a great one!

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Basic {Potty} Training August 13, 2011

I’ve always heard that boys were harder to potty train, but I never imagined it would be this lengthy of a process.  To make matters worse, we’ve had a very inconsistent summer, so it has been difficult to be terribly intentional about getting out of pull-ups.  And as any mom who’s done this before knows, pull-ups don’t really help the process anyway.

For anyone who knows, Jack Wilson, they are astounded that he’s not grasped the concept.  When he asks things like, “Daddy what’s the economy?” or uses the words “exactly” and “actually” in the correct context, it is hard to understand why he can’t say “I need to go potty!”  Obviously vocabulary and using the potty don’t necessarily correlate. (Sigh…)  Although, he’s not yet trained, we have seen lots of progress over the last week,  so we decided it was time to take it to the next level.

Today marked a milestone.  We bought big boy underwear!  Reggie and I got up this morning and took him to Target for the big purchase.  Amongst the options were Diego, Star Wars, Thomas, Mickey Mouse, and waaaay more options than any two year old needs.  After looking through the options, we picked out a few and ultimately let JW decide.  Thomas was the clear winner, and it is our hope that Jack Wilson will not pee pee him as promised.  In the words of JW, “he would be very, very sad…”  We also loaded up on M & Ms and stickers for incentives to transition to big boy-hood.

So far he’s been in underwear for a couple of hours with no accidents.  Here are a few pictures from the big day.  I’m sure there are more updates to come!

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The Help August 13, 2011

Well, it has been nearly 525,600 minutes since my last post and for the first time, in a long time, I am motivated to write.

Two Christmases ago, my friend Cody gave me the book, The Help.  Based on the giver of the book and the personal note inside, I knew there was a special story that awaited.  Struggling to find time to read for “fun”, I procrastinated nearly six months before I finally cracked it open.   It’s impossible for me to give too much away because when I initially began reading the book, I was quickly turned off by the author’s take on southern, black dialect of the 1960s.  It seemed a bit forced and somewhat inaccurate.  The speech comm major in me is critical—too critical most days.   It wasn’t until my friend Kate persuaded me to give it a chance that I picked it up again.  While I can’t say that I came close to finishing the book before  the movie premiered, I began to fall more in love with every page turn but simply ran out of time.

The novel opens with Aibileen, a black woman in Jackson, Mississippi, during the Jim Crow era who narrates the introduction.   She’s the domestic help of the Leefolts and has a deep affinity for Mae Mobley Leefolt, the toddling daughter who loves her equally as much.  From Aibileen’s perspective, she accounts her life of taking care of other people’s homes and children.  And while she is very much like family to the Leefolts, she can’t even use their bathroom.

The story of Aibileen and other heroines of the novel hits closer to home than one might imagine, and I never quite braced myself for the amount of emotion that would ensue once that familiar story was projected on screen.  Whether it was the stories of the maids, the recounting of Medgar Evers’s assignation, or other pivotal moments during the Civil Rights Era, The Help is not merely just a novel, it’s a part of me.

My grandmother, Mildred, was a housekeeper for a prominent family in Hattiesburg, Mississippi for many, many years.  While I remember her talking about this family on numerous occasions, it really it home as I reflected on how she might have felt on many occasions.  And while she was quick to speak about the positive things, I am sure that there were things that she never articulated to her children and grandchildren.  I do remember subtleties like, my grandmother referring to the mother of the household as “Mrs. Smith” (I’ll call her) and the children as “Miss Susie”, “Mr. Bobby” and “Miss Elizabeth” and them (the parents and the children) calling her, “Mildred”.  While that might seem simplistic, it was a microcosm of the dynamic.  She was always inferior, whether it was overt or subtle, simply by the way they addressed her.

The purpose of writing this is not to belittle the  era or the family that employed her, the intention is to highlight how proud I am of the work my grandmother did for most of her life.  Similar to those highlighted in Stockett’s novel, my grandmother single-handedly raised three children on top of her own five.  I have never beamed with such pride to know the strength and resilience she must have exuded every working day of her life.  (And that’s just one of my grandmothers.  I’ll have to write about Granni some other time.  Let’s just say she was Medgar Ever’s secretary when he was assassinated and assisted with a significant amount of the grassroots efforts of the Civil Rights Movement.  More on her later.)

Finally, it should be noted that tonight, I saw the movie with five women who happened to be White.  The fact that we could do that, given the story line is a true testament of society’s progression.  As I looked around the diverse, standing room only theater, and those sitting on my right and left, I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face.   We all laughed and cried in the same parts, and no matter the race or social class, it was hard to deny the warm and fuzzy feeling that the climax of the story produced.

You know, I guess it’s true.  You can’t judge a book by its cover, or even the first few pages.  I can’t wait to finish the book and look forward to writing more about it when I do.  The Help is a great movie and undoubtedly a great book, and I encourage everyone to experience both.  It’s a story that is all too familiar to most us in some way or another.

Summer Recap August 19, 2010

How is it possible that summer is already over?!  Although I work year-round, there is something (or at least there used to be something) about summer that is a little more relaxed.

My summer officially began with my little brother’s high school graduation in Mississippi.  I so enjoyed being with family and friends for that special event.  The rest of the summer was Ca-ra-zy!

In June, I officially began the doctoral program in higher education.  My historical and policy perspectives class was amazing.  I’m so excited to be back in student mode.  I loved tabbing my new APA manual…nerdy and OCD, I know, but at least I own it.    I focused all of my papers on diversity in higher education.  I can’t WAIT to share some of my thoughts on that subject here.

I also went to Carnegie Hall with Reggie and Overton Wind Ensemble.  I still can’t get over how much they overcame (both financially and musically) to get there.  I feel really blessed to have had the experience of hearing and seeing them perform at such a remarkable venue.  We also celebrated my best friend’s 30th birthday in NYC with Regis—well, not with Regis— BUT we were both on the show!  Good, good times.

Work was insanely busy.  A good busy.  I got to be a part of my all time favorite work-related thing in the world:  new student orientation.  I love talking with students and parents and helping to ease their anxieties about the transition to college.  I was also busy with appointments and my biggest website project to date. On top of class and work, I also taught online.  I told you–CRAZY.

Okay, here’s some really good news.  I haven’t had a rheumatoid flare-up in 6 months!  Those of you who have followed my issues know that it had been an uphill battle for a while.  Even with only 30% of cartilage left in my hips, I’ve been able to jog, do water Zumba, and work out on the elliptical machine.  What a difference a good rheumatologist makes!

Did I mention that my mother-in-law moved in?  Yeah, busy summer.  It has been a transition for all of us, but we are taking it one day at a time.

This summer also marked the second year.  This is the first time in the history of the Kidd-Houze union that we have lived in one place for longer than a year.  Can you believe that?   We also celebrated our 7 years of marriage.  Memphis is the first place that really feels like home.  We’ve settled into our new church and made lots of friends.  That is such a feeling of…Ahhhh…

Jack Wilson changed so much over the summer.  His favorite artists are Mozark and Stevie Wonder…go figure.  What a perfect mix of Reggie and me!  He is extremely verbal (some of his newest words are: elevator, lemonade, hippopotamus and new phrases are: “turn up please” (regarding music in the car), “thank you, mommy”, “daddy’s home”, and “I tired”.  These days, I just want to eat him up!

Summer has been filled with all kinds of craziness (hence the months of bloglessness), but I’m still here!  Jack Wilson started the 2 year preschool yesterday and is doing so well.  My first class ended  successfully and affirmed that I am studying in the right discipline.   I love working and living in Memphis.  Life is crazy, but life is good.

Phew!  If you read through all of that, thank you!  You deserve a cupcake or cookie from one of my favorite places on earth!

Until later,

Shea

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19 months and counting June 7, 2010

Jack Wilson is 19 months old today and teaches me something new every day. It’s rare that I write specifically about him, what he’s up to or his monthly milestones, but today I am especially aware of how fast these days are passing.

Tonight I got out of class early, so I scooped JW up from the babysitter, came home, ate dinner then spent some quality time with him. Since Reggie was at rehearsal, we had time to bond–just the two of us. We sang and read and prayed and rocked and once it was time for bed, I put him in his bed and heard the sweetest “night night” and “wuv you” before I closed the door. Our bedtime routine is one that seems to never get old.

I know you’ll think I’m biased when I say that I have the sweetest little boy and you’re probably right. But he is an absolute joy to be around. He is such a sweet and happy boy.   Since I rarely do it, I wanted to take a moment to brag on my little man:  (Please don’t dub me the bullet-point blogger; it just seems to be easier on days when I am pressed for time, yet still want to get a blog in.)

• He wakes up singing or smiling or reciting ABCs or a combination of all three.
• We can leave him with both new and familiar people.  He loves them just the same.
• Just call him the church nursery greeter. (He’s known for his enthusiastic “HEEEEEYYYYY” to everyone who enters.)
• He’s already putting his acting skills to use. I sneeze and he says, “bless you”, then pretends to sneeze or cough then says, “bless you”.
• We might have a singer on our hands.  Among his favorites are, “I am a Promise…”, “B-I-N-G-O”, and “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”.
• He is working on the Southern Miss Shout-out.  It’s a little hard to make out, but he’s almost got the “U-S-M” part down.
• In addition to a 4-hour afternoon nap, he would sleep until 10 am if we let him.
• He stunned us by counting in the teens the other day.
• The newest body parts that he has learned are the neck (pronounced “net”), wrist, and shoulders.
• Like most kids his age, he loves animals and making their noises.  “Elephant” is his new word and sound this week.
• He repeats everything and that is scary.
• He can verbalize that he needs to “potty” and take us to the bathroom, so I guess we need to get started on training.
• And just in case you couldn’t tell, he has stolen my heart.

Thank you Jack Wilson for making each day a little brighter.  It’s been a great 19th months!

Blogging Backlog June 6, 2010

If there were a grade in blogging, I would get an F.  This Houzekeeper has been so busy keeping house that, unfortunately, blogging has fallen by the  wayside.  I think about things to write all of the time but either find it too difficult to be completely transparent in my writing or don’t have the motivation to put my thoughts into words. Then there are days like today that I feel like there is so much to say that I couldn’t possibly right it all down.

I hate that so much time has elapsed since my last post, but my other commitments have taken priority over writing.  And since it’s highly unlikely that I will take the time to write about each important event that has transpired over the last two months, here’s an overview of what’s going on in my world to date:

• I received notification of my acceptance to the doctoral program in Higher Education at the University of Memphis in April. (YAAAAAY!)
• I take my first class tomorrow.
• I begin teaching my online course tomorrow.
• Reggie leaves for the Carnegie trip one week from today.
• I love my job.
• My dad and mother-in-law were both in the hospital last week.
• A dear friend lost her mother tragically last month.
• I joined a gym.
• Reggie and I started “The 40-day Love Dare”.
• My younger brother graduated from high school.
• I received notification about Jack Wilson’s preschool parent orientation. (No kidding.)
• I booked my flight to NYC!
• Jack Wilson started counting in the teens and has 60-70 words.
• He is still a great sleeper (one 4-hour nap during the day and 12-13 hours at night).
• I started a “car fund” in the hopes of trading in my two-door soon.
• After moving nearly a year ago, the house is finally unpacked.
• We are hosting 2 guests this week in preparation for the Carnegie trip.
• I’m still in shock that the Carnegie trip is happening.
• My textbooks came in the mail last week and I’ve already started reading them.
• I’ve sort of narrowed down my research topic, although I want to remain somewhat flexible.  Here’s what I’m thinking:  I want to look at campus ecology as it relates to perceptions of inclusiveness.
• I miss my BFF and wish we lived closer to each other.
• Looks like for the first time in 7 years we won’t be spending our anniversary moving!

The past couple of months have been filled with life’s ups and downs, but the longer I live, the more I find that everyone around me is dealing with some issue or crisis that somehow puts everything into perspective.  Life is not perfect, nor will it ever be, so I am working every day to be thankful for what I have while focusing on how I might be a positive influence to others.

Since I’m beginning a new chapter (quite literally) in my life, I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to blog, so for all two of you who read, please check back from time to time to see what I’m up to.  I hopeful that reading about theory and trends in higher ed will provide me with great material to bring back here.  I hope to be back sooner than later!

Shea

What the doctor ordered April 15, 2010

Last week I received amazing news from my orthopedic surgeon and am just now getting around to writing about it. Many friends and family have been fervently praying for me and sending words of encouragement my way since I shared my diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis and probable double hip replacement. Since that time (almost 3 months ago), I’ve been taking 3 types of medications with bi-weekly observation and blood work. The first few weeks on the meds showed no signs of improvement, but as weeks progressed, the pain in my feet and hips began to go away. I am so thankful for the healing power of prayer, skilled physicians and medications.

About a week ago, I had my first follow-up visit with my orthopedist since that unforgettable day in January. I walked into his office without a cane or a limp and talked to him about my progression. He was happy to know that the medicine seemed to working and that my quality of life had improved immensely. His final recommendations were, “Let me see you back in a year for x-rays–no, make it 2!”

My doctors agree that the rheumatoid is something that we’ll have to keep an eye on over the next several years, but there is no need to rush into surgery if I’m pain free. I will continue to receive treatment from my rheumatologist and just wait and see.

I am so thankful for everyone who has been holding me up and ask that you continue to keep me in your prayers.

Affirmation of Faith April 4, 2010

We returned a little while ago from a beautiful Easter service–one of celebration, empowerment and accountability.  I especially enjoyed the Affirmation of Faith and have copied it below:

We believe in God, who lights the dawn to chase away the darkness;

Who rolls away each stone of doubt;

Who surprises us with gifts of family and friends, silence and laughter;

Who raises us from sadness and despair to possibilities of blessing and joy.

We believe in Jesus, friend of the poor and searcher for the lost,

Who comes to us in our grief and longing,

Calls us by name and sends us on the paths of peace to speak of love that is not overcome by death.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the gentle messenger of God,

Who fills our every breath with blessing;

Who guides us, beckons us to do good, and watches over us with tender compassion.

We believe in the church, an instrument of God in this present moment,

Striving for justice, celebrating in joy, living in hope,

Praying for healing and forever proclaiming Good News of God’s persistent and redeeming love.

Happy Easter!

My new digs April 3, 2010

This past Thursday I started my new job as Career Advisor at the University of Memphis.   I didn’t realize how much I had missed the hustle and bustle that a comprehensive campus offers.  Whether it was having to be more mindful of pedestrians while driving or walking through the busy, and newly constructed University Center (featuring a Dunkin’ Donuts, Burger King, and Taco Bell) or swiping my parking pass to gain access to my gated parking lot or going up the elevator to Career Services’ 4th floor office suite or the speediness in which my email address, voicemail, and computer were configured or the plethora of resources available, I now realize that these are all things that I once took for granted. Though I don’t understand why I had to go through so many transitions to get to this one, the last couple or three jobs have made me more appreciative of the things that are generally no big deal to people in my profession.

On top of the seemingly surface things, I feel differently about this job on a number of levels.  The fact that I decided to take this job (as opposed to finding out that we were moving and having the scramble to find something) makes this move unique.  Additionally, the job is something that I’m intrinsically motivated to perform.  With the exception of my first job offer out of grad school (which I still miss), this is the first time that I am taking a new job because I want to.  I am naturally a control-freak.  I’ve had my life planned out as long as I can remember.  I thrive on order and predictability in my life, and since I’ve had pretty much the opposite over the past 6+ years, it’s made me crazy!  I know I’ll never truly be in control of my life or be able to predict the future, but the stability that I foresee in the future precipitates a peace of mind that I haven’t felt in a long time.

In addition to the ownership that I feel regarding my new position, I can already tell that I’m going to love the job.  My primary responsibilities include lots of presentations to freshmen and undecided students, mock interviews, resume/cover letter critiques, and one-on-one career counseling.  Those who know me know that I love all of the above.  On Friday, I got to sit in on a mock interview with my supervisor, and it was so much fun!   It was amazing to see the student’s growth and “ah hah” moments during the session.  Love it!

This is a rather long run down of the first couple of days on the new job.  I look forward to writing more in the coming weeks!  Check out my new digs below:

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